Neologisms

Subject: Neologisms Tue May 12, 2009 12:00 pm

I don't know if this is current or not, but this is from an email I received:

Neologisms

Once again, The Washington POST has
published the winning submissions to its
yearly neologisms, in which readers are asked
to supply alternate meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you
have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in
which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that
picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted
by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation
with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that,
when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets
stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front
of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also
asked readers to take any word from the
dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or
changing one letter and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding
stupid people that stops bright ideas from
penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately,
shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about
yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a
house, which renders the subject financially
impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author
of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you
are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.

9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody
is sending off all these really bad vibes,
right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.

10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of
getting through the day consuming only things that are good
for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid
ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance
performed just after you've accidentally walked through
a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a
mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three
in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after
finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

Subject: Re: Neologisms Tue May 12, 2009 12:09 pm

Great stuff, Zada! Started my day with a lot of laughs.

Subject: Re: Neologisms Tue May 12, 2009 12:16 pm

Subject: Re: Neologisms Tue May 12, 2009 3:01 pm

People do have imagination. They're good.

Subject: Re: Neologisms Tue May 12, 2009 7:11 pm

Very good, Zada. My favorite is #9.