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 Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?

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Dick Stodghill
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PostSubject: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 11:11 am

A Stodghill Says So blog:

I guess it's a pipe dream, thinking someone can solve the major problems facing the world when two manufacturers can't agree on what constitutes large in men's boxer shorts. While I can't do much about fixing up the world, I suppose my personal problem could be solved by giving up on Hanes and Fruit of the Loom and buying one of those designer brands. Spending the few extra buck wouldn't make or break me but it seems kind of foolish when I seldom would start a conversation by saying, "I'm wearing Calvin Klein shorts."
Then again, it might be fun seeing the expressions on the faces of those who received this information. I'm sure "senility" would be said in whispers.
Anyway, all this came up when we drove over to Target this morning. That was my second mistake. The first was agreeing to go out at all. So after walking a couple of miles we arrived at the place where hundreds of shorts were hanging on metal racks. Two of them were packets of large size Hanes. Two lousy packets and I didn't like either of them. Each packet contains three pairs and not even one of the six pleased me. I may not do much talking about the shorts I'm wearing but I'm particular about the design.
So even though every pair at home was Hanes, I checked out Fruit of the Loom. Both firms consider 38-40 to be large. That's where agreement ends. I found that out after buying two packs of the Loom and opening them at home. A pair of large size Hanes shorts is what you might expect for a man my size. A pair of large Fruit of the Loom shorts could do double duty as a sideshow tent for Ringling Brothers.
So this goes down as the third day this week when little writing will get done, and it's only Wednesday. I am well equipped with shorts, however. As for the problems of the world? Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. Clark Gable said that when he was living in an Akron boardinghouse and spending his days building tires in a rubber factory. Or maybe it was a few years after that, I forget. I'm sure he said it, though, and probably more than once. He totally destroyed the undershirt business in this country by not wearing one. Where he stood on shorts, I don't know.
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alj
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 11:18 am

Have you checked with Michael Jackson?

Ann
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alice
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 11:23 am

Try the Calvin Klein
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Abe F. March
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 11:32 am

Dick,
have you considered not wearing any? Saves, time, effort and money.
If you must wear them, make sure they're not too tight. It could give you headaches and pains in the groin.Very Happy
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Carol Troestler
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 11:58 am

Dick,

I recently posted on another thread that when in high school I worked in the men's and boy's department at a dry goods store. I knew nothing about men's and boy's underwear up to that point, but learned.

Carol
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E. Don Harpe
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 1:02 pm

I've never heard that Clark Gable stood on shorts. Was this to keep his feet from getting dirty? (?) Or to give him extra height so he was as tall as his leading ladies? Doesn't seem like a pair of shorts would be use for standing on, but then again, I don't claim to know everything about shorts.

Personally, I can wear any shorts that are at least 32 in the waist with a double D crotch.

(Please let me know if that is entirely too much information)
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thehairymob
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 1:05 pm

I'm glad to be Scottish and not have the need to worry about such restricting garments. Wink
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Dick Stodghill
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 1:11 pm

So it's true then?
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E. Don Harpe
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 1:13 pm

What they wear under those kilts, that is.
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alice
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 1:29 pm

YES IT IS TRUE!

THEY WEAR NO UNDERWEAR--I SAW IN VANCOUVER BC-- THE BAG PIPE PLAYER-THE WIND WAS BLOWING-DOWNRIGHT SCARY!
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Shelagh
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 1:42 pm

"Anything worn under the kilt?" the bestman asked the bridegroom before the wedding ceremony.

"No," replied the groom. "Everything is in good working order."

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Phil Whitley
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 3:03 pm

Being Scottish myself, me and hairy fall into the same category. My
mother always gave the warning, "What if you're in a car wreck and have
to go to the hospital?"

"The fewer clothes they have to cut off me, the quicker they can get to work," was my ever-ready reply.
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Shelagh
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 4:10 pm

Oh Don, your reputation is in sh(red)s. Way to go!

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Betty Fasig
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 5:04 pm

Men's underwear are sized like women's pants. If you want to think your butt is a tight and firm testament to manhood, you will pay as much as a woman who wants to thinks she wears a size 8 to cover her size 16 butt and can look backwards into the mirror and tell anyone who is looking, these are size 8!

Vanity is not just a woman thing.

By the way, Dick. I cannot imagine you with a big butt.

Love,
Bettty
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zadaconnaway
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 8:56 pm

In women's clothing, it is like that, Dick. The more you pay for a dress, the smaller they 'say' the size is! Definitely a vanity thing for us femmes.
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Carol Troestler
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 10:16 pm

Betty,

I must have accidentally gone over your little green line, because suddenly it turned red.

Sorry about that. I tried to give you a + but it didn't work.

These things confuse me.

Carol
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zadaconnaway
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Wed Mar 18, 2009 10:52 pm

Yes, Carol, you have to be careful to click on the + and not the - sign or you get the wrong vote for that post.
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Shelagh
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Thu Mar 19, 2009 2:05 am

zadaconnaway wrote:
In women's clothing, it is like that, Dick. The more you pay for a dress, the smaller they 'say' the size is! Definitely a vanity thing for us femmes.
All ladies' American clothing and shoes are sized down. I have to buy a size smaller if the label is American. I don't pay much attention to size labels -- I prefer large T-shirts (even men's) and baggy shorts for the summer and I buy jeans for 13 year-olds. I am not a good example of your average consumer.

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Dick Stodghill
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Thu Mar 19, 2009 5:27 am

I'm in with a bunch of crazy people.
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Carol Troestler
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Thu Mar 19, 2009 5:48 am

But isn't it more fun than the alternative?
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zadaconnaway
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Thu Mar 19, 2009 6:55 am

Crazy people have more fun Dick. Didn't you already know that, though?
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E. Don Harpe
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Thu Mar 19, 2009 7:57 am

Hey, I'm insane, damn it, not crazy.
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Shelagh
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Thu Mar 19, 2009 8:02 am

Twisted Evil

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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Thu Mar 19, 2009 8:06 am

Dick, if it's any consolation, Calvin Klein lost its designer cred when it starting showing up at Sam's. Laughing
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Abe F. March
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Thu Mar 19, 2009 8:08 am

Driving people crazy started with a pair of boxer shorts. Are the words crazy and nuts used in the same manner?
Don't know whether one is nuts or just crazy.
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PostSubject: Re: Why aren't all my boxer shorts the same size?   Today at 8:07 pm

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