Warner Robbins, Air Force Base, 1963, and I was the “New kid” in the
shop. It was my first job as an Electronics Technician—fresh out of
school with an A.S. degree, First Class Radiotelephone license and
absolutely, totally alone in this town full of strangers. The only
people I knew were the guys I worked with, and they all had families
and friends.

After a couple of months there, one of the men invited me
to a social gathering he and his wife had planned. It was a semi-formal
party, and fortunately, I had packed one suit that would have to do. On
the night of the party, I almost backed out. I knew I wouldn’t know
anyone there except the host, and I didn’t even know him that well. I
knew that it was up to me to make new friends and get involved with
people outside of work.

My first thought upon arriving was that I felt that everyone was
dressed nicer than I was. After a few introductions, I grabbed a cup of
punch and a few snacks and headed for the one wall where no one was
standing. I decided that I would stay just long enough to not be rude,
and make my escape.

Just as I was about to leave, a tuxedo-clad man
walked over. He smiled pleasantly, shook my hand, and said, “No
mayonnaise in Ireland,” with a hint of European accent.

This is some kind of joke, I thought, but quick wit that I am, replied, “And here’s no catsup in Denmark either."

He looked at me very strangely and dropped my hand. He
gave me another smile, although nervously this time, then waved at
someone across the room. He left rather hurriedly, as did I.

Driving back to my apartment that night, I kept thinking about those strange
words, and how lucky I was to have gotten away from there when I did. Definitely not my kind of people, I thought.

I told that story for many years, still wondering what it meant, or
what that guy was up to. I really felt that he was some kind of pervert
with a very original “come-on” line. I prided myself on my quick
response, and my decision to leave that party!

One night, as I was once again telling the story, I heard my own words
as I said, “No mayonnaise in Ireland” Oh, my God! The guy was just
trying to make me feel welcome in a room full of strangers when he
approached me and said, “No man is an island.”

I’ll bet he still tells the story of the new guy at the party who
responded to that classic line with, “And there’s no catsup in Denmark
either.”

That is a classic story, Brew! Pride comes before ...

I don't think you were meant to hear those words as spoken. I think your quick exit was probably the right decision.

Whenever I lost a half-written post on a forum because the browser suddenly flipped to the previous page or I lost a typed in email message, I used to type it all in again laboriously. Then I came to the conclusion that I wasn't meant to send those messages. They were meant to disappear into cyberspace to save me from myself.

I no longer retype these lengthy responses. I type one or two new sentences that say exactly what I was trying to say in a paragraph. A bit like the socks in the washing machine and the hangers in the wardrobe. It all comes out in the wash and saves me from hanging myself!

Great story, Brew. I can just hear the other guy going up to people and saying, "Who's the nut over by the wall?"

In 1943 I took basic training at Camp Wheeler just down the road from Warner-Robbins. By the time you were there, Wheeler would have been long gone.

Great post to cheer us, Brew! Love the morning humor, it starts my day off niceely, and I'm glad I didn't read it yesterday!

Very funny, Brew! Loved the story and good laugh!

I was in Civil Service at Robbins AFB. Top Secret clearance. I even had
an "Eyes Only" for one thing I did there. Every morning I had to
present the proper badge at different points... One for just getting
onto the base, one for entering the building I worked in, and still
another to go onto the airstrip to work inside the aircraft (B-52's and
the hottest thing we had back then - the F-111).

Do you realize that you can almost get lost inside the wing of a B-52? Those things are HUGE!

We were in direct support of the aircraft that went to Vietnam. We were
the final inspection point before they went to Thule, Greenland, then
on to "the Nam". I was in the calibration/installation unit for the
missile guidance systems and a still top-secret device called a
"Terrain Computer". I had "flight clearance" so that final calibration
could be done in the air, away from ground clutter.

It was stressed to us daily about there being no lines between our guys
and the enemy, and that our adjustments could affect the safety of our
own troops. I was invited to an exhibition once out on the airfield. In
the middle of a field was a 55-gallon drum with some jet fuel in it. We
were told to watch the drum closely. It was dead silent for a few
minutes, then the drum exploded! Next came an F-111 travelling at Mach
1 - again totally silent. Then came the sonic boom and the sound of the
jet as it disappeared over the horizon. It had fired a missile at the
drum before we even knew it was coming!

The base commander then made the announcement, "and that was possible
because of what you guys do on our equipment. Had you not done your job
properly, either he would have, at the least, missed the drum. At the
worst, it would have hit YOU!"

I loved that job...

Sounds pretty exciting, Brew!

That fits in with the kids who went to church and thought they were hearing such phrases as "bringing in the sheets" and "the crosseyed bear."

Funny.

Malcolm
now at http://twitter.com/MalcolmCampbell

Brew,
you had a very sensitive job. I'm sure there are other stories you could tell about life in the USAF. I have flashbacks to those days as well but in a different branch. Of course every job in the Air Force was connected to keeping the planes in the air.
My very last job I held in civilian life was in support of keeping aircraft flying.

All the training we received weekly about security and how enemy agents
could gain a little bit of info from you, and from another, and another,
until they had your secrets became almost humorous - until you realized
they were intensively serious. It was kinda like the McCarthy years of
"a communist under every bed".

I'm sure Dick and Abe remember the (in)famous Top Secret Norden
bombsight, which turned out to be more hype than anything else. It was
a marvel of ingenuity, containing an analog computer for calculating
windspeed, aircraft speed, altitude, etc. but it could only be used in
daylight hours, and even then it was not very successful. The Germans
had already bought the plans for $5000.00 before it was ever used, but
then didn't copy it.

What makes the story funny is that now we know that by the time I was
working at the airbase, it had already been reclassified from top
secret to restricted - the lowest classification, but we were being told that
it was still Top Secret. Word spread pretty quickly that you could see
one in a pawn shop in Macon... LOL

Ah, Macon. It was there I first saw separate restrooms and drinking fountains for blacks and whites. It was there that I saw a magnicent structure that was a high school.

Then old January day when the air was cold and rain was falling we were on a hike that took us through a desolate place called Franklinton. There was a school for blacks - wood and up on stilts to keep the snakes out. The windows were open because there was no glass in them. Times have changed. We can be thankful for that.