Examples of bad writing

Four Star Member Joined : 17 Jan 2008 Posts : 298

We all talk about being as near perfect as we can with our writing. We watch for word usage, punctuation, ect.

I'd like for this thread to showcase examples of poor writing that we find, just to show that even writers that get paid for their work sometimes are not any better than we are.

Here's the first example, which I found today in an article on the CNN website.

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24 CORPSES FOUND SHOT IN MEXICO

(CNN) -- Twenty-four corpses were found bound and shot execution-style in the Mexican city of Atlapulco on Friday, according to Humberto Benitez, secretary-general of government in the State of Mexico.

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My question about his writing example is this: Why would anyone want to shoot corpses? No use shooting them when they're already dead.

Maybe a better headline would have been:

24 BODIES FOUND IN MEXICO, ALL DEAD FROM GUNSHOT WOUNDS

Or perhaps you would write it differently. Have at it.

Subject: Re: Examples of bad writing Sat Sep 13, 2008 8:41 am

That's funny Don. I read the same article and wondered the same thing. When I read things like that, it makes me wonder who edits their work.

That's almost as bad as a mother saying to her kids, "If you don't shut up I'm going to kill you, and then you're going to bed without any supper."
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Admin Joined : 11 Jan 2008 Posts : 2321 Location : UK

SHOT DEAD: TWENTY-FOUR CORPSES FOUND IN MEXICO
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Shelagh Watkins
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Three Star Member Joined : 07 Jun 2008 Posts : 171

One of my editing clients mixed his metaphors when he wrote of his character, "He knew the ropes like the back of his hand." His effort got him a double dose of my lecture on clichés.

Jim Woods
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Subject: Re: Examples of bad writing Sun Sep 14, 2008 6:07 am

I see headlines this lousy every day. That shows that too many places either don't have copyeditors any more or they (the editors) are drunk.

Malcolm
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Malcolm R. Campbell

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Subject: Re: Examples of bad writing Sun Sep 14, 2008 7:08 am

One that I remember from awhile back ... remember those snipers that where going around shooting people at random?

They were finally arrested after being found in a rest area.

CNN was covering the story on TV with a running tagline that read something like:

"Snipers arrested while sleeping in a rest area"

That sure caught my attention.
I would think they would need to be awake to be arrested. What a suprise to wake up and find out you've been arrested while sleeping!
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Subject: Re: Examples of bad writing Sun Sep 14, 2008 9:02 am

They could get off with a good lawyer if that were the case as they wouldn't have been read their rights properly. What a mess that would be Very Happy

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Joined : 13 Sep 2008 Posts : 6

Yeah, well read this: www.cs.du.edu/~aburt/StingManuscript.pdf

Four Star Member Joined : 17 Jan 2008 Posts : 298

The Atlanta Nights thing is an old story, baconpatroller, and not really worth rehashing.