Why do women do this?

Subject: Why do women do this? Fri Aug 22, 2008 8:21 pm

We were paid a visit by relatives recently, Joe and Cindy Hesson from Richmond, Indiana. This triggered one of Jackie's cleaning frenzies, of course. I appreciate clean surroundings as much as the next guy, but it seems the place is in pretty good shape all the time.
Not so, apparently. In the midst of her vacuuming and dusting and running from one place to another, Jackie took time to drop a dust rag beside my desk. "This is probably cleaner than the one you usually use," she said, and I'll admit she was right about that.
This was the first I realized a dust rag was going to be needed that particular morning so I said, "Who's coming?"
"You know perfectly well who's coming and you know how particular Joe is."
"What Joe are we talking about?"
"Joe Hesson, you know that."
"That's funny because the Joe I was thinking about also is named Joe Hesson. I can't recall the Joe Hesson I know being all that fussy."
"Well he is. So is Cindy."
So as Jackie went hurrying off to her next chore, I was jarred from my comfort zone. In the office I have a rule of thumb about dusting: When you no longer can tell the color of something, it's probably time to dust.Even though I could see my pipe racks were brown and all the other stuff looked normal, I went ahead and did my part. That's the trouble with cleaning frenzies; they're contagious. I don't suppose those five minutes away from work will keep me from winning a Pulitzer Prize, but you never can be certain about things like that.
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Mystery Writers of America, Private Eye Writers of America
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Admin Joined : 11 Jan 2008 Posts : 2321 Location : UK

My house is full of dust. I used to live in an old Victorian property that required lots of tender loving care and looked extremely forlorn if it didn't receive the love and respect it demanded.

Now, I live in a modern home that can survive months of neglect and look like a new pin when I go on one of Jackie's cleaning sprees. Which is just as well considering the neglect my home has had to suffer during the last four months of putting together the anthology!

Pass me the clean dust rag!
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Shelagh Watkins
http://shelaghwatkins.co.uk/

Subject: Re: Why do women do this? Sat Aug 23, 2008 12:43 am

A Victorian property, Shelagh? How wonderful. Do you have any photos?

My mother was Mrs Clean. She held a full-time job as a nurse back in the days when most wives didn’t have their own cars, so she got up before dawn cracked, took the bus ‘to town’ and then transferred to a trolley for the last leg of her journey. She had to be at the hospital at 7am, so she put in a full day, then repeated the entire transportation process to return home. I’d be worn out after one day if I'd had to keep a schedule like that, but Mom kept that schedule for years. She still kept her house so clean that even the metal things that held the sliding doors sparkled. How she did it I’ll never know because I’m certainly not that way. House cleaning is the last thing on my mind, and in my younger days as a wife and mother, about the only time I really took something apart to clean was when I expected guests.

Why did I care what others thought? A female thing, I think. Pride. Ego. And guilt. Part of the guilt was because I grew up in an era when most women stayed home and took care of their homes, and I was told that women showed their love by keeping their homes clean. I was always the odd one as I'd rather work than do houseowork. I loved to cook, tho, and Mom hated it, so I'd cook and she'd clean. My goal was to be rich enough to pay someone to clean my house.

I think one of the rewards of growing older is that I no longer care what others think. I'm still not rich enough to have a full-time housekeeper. I clean enough so that the health department can’t evict me and the city won’t fine me because my home looks neglected. That’s about it. And when I’m busy writing, I’ll wash clothes when I realize I’m out of something clean to wear and wash dishes when I’ve gone through everything in the kitchen and am out of paper plates. When I have free time, I want to do something fun, even if it’s nothing more than popping some corn and watching a great video or reading. I still love to take rides and explore, altho the price of gas has limited that particular type of fun.
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Subject: Re: Why do women do this? Sat Aug 23, 2008 12:59 am

Thirty or forty years ago I kept a spotless house and worked full time. It almost killed me. I swore I would never again be married to a house. When people come to visit they had better be coming to visit me, not my house! I do however, keep things fairly tidy.
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Zada Connaway
Mother's Journals: parts 1, 2 and 3 ISBN # 1-4241-6969-0

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Subject: Re: Why do women do this? Sat Aug 23, 2008 12:43 pm

Subject: Re: Why do women do this? Sat Aug 23, 2008 5:28 pm

The busier we got, the less the dust mattered. But we try. And we try harder whenever people come over.

Malcolm
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Malcolm R. Campbell

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Admin Joined : 11 Jan 2008 Posts : 2321 Location : UK

The important thing to remember is that you should NEVER EVER say, "Oh you shouldn't have gone to all this trouble!"

That is such a downer! When you have worked yourself to a spot of grease, you do not want to be told that you need not have bothered. Be gracious. Compliment the host and say how special it makes you feel to know that someone has gone to all that trouble just for you. If you blurt out, "Oh, you shouldn't have," jump right in there and add, "but I'm glad you did!"
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Shelagh Watkins
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Admin Joined : 11 Jan 2008 Posts : 2321 Location : UK

Subject: Re: Why do women do this? Sat Aug 23, 2008 9:30 pm

Dear Shelagh,
I imagine that if you had a bridge there, trolls lived under it.
It is kind of like living in a castle and knowing there is a bell tower somewhere but never finding it. All those old English tales have had a far reaching influence. I loved them, every one!

I do not know if anyone knows how mobile homes are built, but they do evaporate before your eyes in a matter of twenty or so years. David and I lived in a trailer for 23 years. It was 15 years old when we got it. In the end, not one thing could I do to make that place look clean. The floor rotted, the carpet rotted, the opossums and wild cats lived under the floor, the gerbils dug out of their cage and escaped through the floor, the roof leaked in so many spots that we had a bucket brigade. We repaired the repairs.

Last year we could afford to finance a real house on this property. It is built and we are so house proud! I have a routine every morning so that nothing ever gets really dirty.
I smile the whole time. It takes one hour to keep the whole place neat and tidy, laundry done.

Every other week, I do the floors with the help of Hoover Floor Mate, a wonderful invention, wash the throw rugs, the dog pillows, and dust what needs done.

I do all this stuff for David and I. It feels so good to be clean and comfortable. I do not worry about who is coming over. Not like in the days of the trailer. I hope this made some sense.

Love,
Betty
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Subject: Re: Why do women do this? Sat Aug 23, 2008 9:34 pm

Thanks, Shelagh. Everything's fuzzy so I can barely make out the images, but it still looks huge.

There are a few Victorians in Redlands, CA, and I love the
architecture, the porches and gingerbread. I toured one for a
description in my current novel, and I can just imagine how nice it would
be to live there.
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Subject: Re: Why do women do this? Sat Aug 23, 2008 10:04 pm

We used to refer to this as my mother's frenzy -- she kept a good house but went frantic before people came over so that it was the way she wanted to present it: perfect. I do the same thing although not to the same extent (well, maybe to the same extent). I also house clean when I am procrastinating about work. I used to say that I couldn't "concentrate" if there was mess around me, but that was just a ruse. If I want to procrastinate there is always a job somewhere that needs doing. Smile

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Pam Robertson

http://andthebandplayedonmylawn.blogspot.com

Subject: Re: Why do women do this? Sat Aug 23, 2008 10:26 pm

Oh, Pam, I'm a master at procrastination. You wouldn't believe the
stories I tell myself to delay doing something I don't want to do.

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Subject: Re: Why do women do this? Sat Aug 23, 2008 10:31 pm

Brenda I hear you! Perhaps we should swap stories and that way add to our storehouse -- lol!

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Pam Robertson

http://andthebandplayedonmylawn.blogspot.com

Admin Joined : 11 Jan 2008 Posts : 2321 Location : UK

Subject: Re: Why do women do this? Sat Aug 23, 2008 11:37 pm

They're beautiful, Shelagh. Thanks for the closeup.

I'll swap, Pam. I need some good new stories.
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